I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
