Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
