I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize