ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well you can't waste a boner
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he quoted the bible to break up with me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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