That's intense
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
