he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize