Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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