sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
