yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
