That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
