sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I die, sorry about rent.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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