I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
