I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
