Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
