Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are we still banned from the library?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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