I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to cum in my sink.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
