can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize