This girl is more easily done than said...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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