Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have aggressive nipples.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
