Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I FOUND THE LEGS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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