porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
