you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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