I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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