Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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