Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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