I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
