I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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