Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
