worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
