guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
