We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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