Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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