On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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