I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
