so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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