I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
