is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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