You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize