Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
