YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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