I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We named our party play list daddy issues
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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