So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
