the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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