Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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