a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blood and glitter go together right?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
