You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
