I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize