Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
