Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize