remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
