pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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