So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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