I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
