So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
