May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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