Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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