i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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