Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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