idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
