I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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